you know you have hit your lowest point of being low when you start procrastinating your showers
kiss me until i forget how worthless i am
If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine. It is lethal.
i went into a whole foods and got to hear a woman arguing with a guy at the meat counter because she wanted grass fed organic chicken and he was desperately trying to explain to her that chickens don’t eat grass
we need to sacrifice somebody so Ellen never dies
This is quickly becoming the Hunger Games for douchebags
THE 1ST ANNUAL DOUCHEBAG GAMES.
do you ever see an opinion that’s so terrible that you actually feel bad for that person’s brain